Creativity is a drug I cannot live without.
Cecil B. DeMille
The story of Surrender...
I was listening to the backdrop of conversations from a TV show a friend was watching, scrolling through Facebook posts and doing my usual end of evening tasks. Brushing my teeth, washing my face and preparing for the next day. I was thinking about my life and where it is, as if it had somewhere to be. Some destination to arrive at. I am learning this is not the case. When your life is not doing what you think it should be...surrender.
Surrender to not knowing the next moment, the future, or the next move. I truly believed that I was living life freely. That I was "going with the flow." I was doing no such thing. I was securing my safety nets, and I was taking calculated risks. I was playing it safe.
Very recently, I demoted myself at my day job, left a roommate to find my own sacred space. And in all of that, dealing with some heavy duty unforeseen personal taxes and building my business. I was lost, so lost – so scared –living between homes, not knowing what was next. Where was I? Where did I put myself? What was I doing? Did I take too many risks? How many risks does a risk taker risk?
As my head hit the pillow and I started to think about what dreams I may have the honour of escaping into, I had a vision. He was a man – living in a big city, well dressed and well to do; he has a stream of delicious dreams. He thinks. A lot. He thinks about God, about love, and what is missing in his life.
Is it love?Is it God?Is it truth?Is it a woman?Is it a man? Is it himself?
He is alone...but not by choice. He is alone, because, well, he dreams. He dreams so much that he could get lost in a phrase, a thought, or a dream.
After a day of dreaming, he surrenders to the night, travels the city and dances in the streets. He surrenders himself to the quiet, the alone, and the unknown.
This is a story about "having it all in life". Having everything you have ever dreamed of and still feeling empty.
Yearning and dreaming forever to fill this cup with just about anything – Anything! – only to discover that what you truly desire to put in your cup are the things you have been ignoring.